I hope to write this down so I never forget. I hope one day I can look at this post and laugh. But February 16th 2017 will be a day that will forever be engraved in my mind.
Steve and I took Landon to Disneyland and we were all having a great time. I knew that my blood test results might come in while we were in California. I was hoping they would. I planned on buying either a boy or girl outfit to surprise my family with the news. We were standing in line for the monsters inc. ride when my Ob's office called. I answered, and they said to me, "Is there any way you can come right now. We just received your blood results and would like you to come in to discuss these with your doctor." I told her I was out of town and wouldn't be returning till the next week. She then wanted me to come in as soon as we got home. I asked her "Why? Is there something wrong?" She says "No, but your doctor just likes to review these results in person." I was relieved when she said nothing was wrong, but deep down I knew something wasn't right.
I decided I couldn't take not knowing. I decided to txt my doctor and ask him myself if he could tell me the results. He told me he was skiing and that he would call me when he got back with the results. That was fine since we were still going on rides. I later got a txt saying Laura I've reviewed your blood results call me when you get a minute. I told him i was about to get on a ride and if i could call him after. His reply was no. Please call me when you get back to your hotel. I knew it. I knew something wasn't right. We got dinner and Steve convinced me I needed to call right then. We found a quiet place where he broke the news to me.
At the beginning it was small talk, and then he told me the results. "I wanted to let you know that you are pregnant with a baby girl." "She has also tested positive for down syndrome."
What? Me? Why? Why was this happening to me? Were the only thoughts that were in my head. I didn't even hear the rest of the conversation. I heard the words down syndrome and my life shattered into a million pieces.
I cried and cried and cried some more. It was harder to break the news to my family. So many questions came up that I had no answer to. The whole trip to disneyland was a blur.
Which brings me to today. February 22. Today I had my first Ob appointment since finding out. It was hard. I cried a lot. The doctor teared up. It's a hard thing to face. He told me the game plan, that we will be starting to see maternal fetal medicine at 15 weeks. We will be meeting with genetic counselors and a more in depth ultrasound. Especially of the heart. We will also be getting an amniocentesis. On top of this I have my blood pressure to worry about. I've lost weight and hope to not lose more. I found out my chances of miscarriage at this point are extremely high. Lots and lots of unknown.
I'm gratefully to our families, friends and co-workers who have reached out with loving word of encouragement. Especially to my husband. He has had nothing but love for this baby down syndrome or not. Im trying to be more like him.
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